OuTPissEd!!;)

Boss was in terrible mood today...soooo bad, that he mouthed a hell lotta ma - pu** words for a highly ordinary mistake of mine..the dialogues were so furious that a tonne of wax melted out of ma ears!! :(

ahhh..cmmon..it was also not the first time am gettin such an earful.. its ok not to be perfect sometimes....

howbeit..

it was heartbreaking tis time..half ma floor was witnessing the ordeal live; that includes the marathi mulgi mandakini godbole..ma sweetheart ..pheww...it was well turning out to be my  9/11!!

i kept (had to!!) a low profile for the rest of the day..completely way off, totally aloof and... highly revengeful !!..

17.30hrs..

the rattle of over a 1000 keyboards finally stopped.. PCs with tonnes of codes and innumerable softwares started shuttin down..n The kompany announced...Its Day End!!

not a sec to loose..

ma boss picked up his things and ran..not to be left behind..i too picked ma things and ran..

4.5673 secs later,

we met... @ the loo..

we quietly sneaked into the available pots...aahh..and that turned out to be the adjacent ones..neighbors now!!

hmmm...post the public rebuke in the morning,it was the first time we wre so close..bitter glances were exchanged..and we both were dead serious!!

after the customary frantic maneuvers (all the handworks).. we stood anxiously, waiting, for it to come out..

except for ma boss's whisper..""common"..."commooon"..commmmooaann"",,,there was pin drop silence..

A contest  brewing up between us??..yeahh most certainly..i felt so!!
10 long secs..nothin happened...

n then..

all of a sudden i pumped..wooahh....

yahoooooo!!

yuppp... i did it!! am first!! yahoooooooo!!
ma payback..ma token of revenge..ma vendattaa!! all in one!!

aahhh...watay feeling..its not just the bosses, who always win!!grrr!!

loaded with a mighty pride and lots of disposable arrogance, i turned and gave ma struggling boss the smartest of all ma smirks..!!!:);)

grrrr!!!!!!!!
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P.S.
btw for the evil minds...tre exists a big laminate bw 2 pots....so no privacy intrusions!!;)
**ma-pu words are the choicest of mallu swear words..

"Kms"

A silent drop of sweat gently flowed down beside amma ears. Few more droplets emerged on her forehead....

Doc checked the AC buttons...All working fine...OHOHO..cmmon sree nothing to worry!! It’s normal for ppl of sirs age...

Amma worries weren’t misplaced... The sugar levels of my dad’s blood has been on a bullish run...The best of efforts to calm it down were not yielding any results...

Doc continued..."why not go in for some tablets!!”

Achan reacted “Ayyoo Nope doc...Tablets tend to be addictive...I don’t want to start a new habit at this age...Suggest me some other healthy ways...”

“Hmmm... There aren’t any new ways...It’s all same”...looking at amma he continued “sree we had discussed before... Go by the same routine...Drink lots of water... Dietary controls... And most importantly loots of exercise...”

“But doc, I do all three quite well...”

Amma too sided dad “Yup doc he drink lots of water...Diet is about 99% strict...and for exercise we walk everyday to pathiyoor temple”

“Ohh cmmon pathiyoor temple is hardly a stones throw from your home!! Not enough!! Here, am speaking about Kms!!”

Spreading his palms and drawing two inverted commas on air...he reiterated “Kms”

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Inside the car too, There was an unusual melancholy...

Dad broke the silence “why u so depressed”...

“Depressed!! Chetta, the lifestyle diseases of a man puts direct light on his Mrs's Ineptitude at home.. today’s doc session reminded me of the PTA meetings I used to attend with kuttu...ohh..dreadful times tat...all credits for his flop shows fell on me, his visible parent!!! since i was just a mortal with normal abilities, i couldnt bring any change then...sigh..
amma takes a deep breath n continued
aahh..tis is purely god's plays..this is ma second big chance...you are just a medium, darlin.. the battle is between me and the sugar levels...Whatever be the way, i will floor the Sugar levels”

dad scratched his head hard and appreciatively responded “Sree,good..you are my perfect soul mate..lotz of passion...and nice to be the reason for the newly drawn battle line!!!..but...pls sree, dont compare me with that irresponsible fellow of ours...oommph..Luckily only I happened to hear your weird comparison...”

“he he he..okay...cmmon... lets be serious again..The emphasis this time should be more on exercises...”

Ohh...Exercise!! (dads veiled laziness slowly starts to stem out) You know very well that I can’t run on a treadmill or do aerobics...they aren’t suitable for a man of my age and physique... highly boring... probably i can walk more...okay lets visit the temple twice..Anyway kathoos exams r nearing... (a George Banks of the Father of the Bride moment)

“but chetta..Forgot Kms (aping docs gestures)”

Achan retorted losing almost all his  calm “be specific then?? How much more should I walk”

“hmm”..After some mental calculation, Amma passed the verdict
“every day from home to office and office to home”... A cool 4 to 5 Kms

Dad braked hard...the best of aerodynamics couldn't save maruthi from a wheel to roof shake..a true out of blue Allan Donald bouncer...

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Dad protested and suggested alternatives...but for amma nothing was as good as a everyday 4 km walk!!

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Next day mom woke an hour early..Pulled all her normal morning schedules an hr earlier...when clock struck 9.00 mom was at the door waiting with the Tiffin and suitcase...dad steadied his spects and reluctantly moved towards mom...Both walked till the gates and mom handed over his office gear..As a passing note, murmured "try walking fast and all the best..."

Dad didn’t reply and hesitantly crossed the gates...he took a deep view of the road ahead and set off...
Mom too rushed off to her office on her Activa and tataed her pedestrian hubby ...

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An hr later...Mom from her office phoned dad...

(Excitedly) how was it??

Good!!Very good...

I knew it!!.. Feeling fresh??!! Or r u tired??!!

Real fresh...a la liril fresh!!

Ohh...nice to hear tat...When did u reach office

Hmm, 9;05!!

Wow... Wait..... but how so fast??

Met Sasi on road...

So?!

He was on his bike...

So?!

He offered me a lift...

So?!

Since i never say a No to anyone, I Accepted his genuine offer!!
Bye!! bye!! Dump!!

Hellooo hello

That nite...Amma gave idea star singer and Devi mahathmyam a miss.. Calls from me, kathu n ammomma were unanswered...kitchen lights didn’t blink!! And dad and brownie went to bed with half a litre water and lots of air in their tummies!!!

mOthER's reCIpe

For me, It was one of the places where i thought i would never see a calendar..

Okay...its rite that the heads of my home are bankers, an that we have a huge roll of bank calendars at our store room throughout the year.But these still doesn’t measure up being a good reason to hang @ the work area near the back door entry.

Confoosed me yelled: "Ammo why the calendar here??"

"See it closely and try to find if theres something more in it.."

Phew..these bank calenders..they r dullest date indicators u will ever see...Its true tat a 100yr old PSU cant be a Pirelli..but still a bit of bright colours may not harm anyone...aaahh its tuf to change traditions..so better live with it..

i started lookin closer over the boring blue calendar..voila.. some bright red badly drawn round reynold circles..the month was December and there were 2 spots on the page..

"ammo..gotcha dots on some dates.."

"Eda Midukkaaa.." that was quite satisfying; mom atlast thought that there was something more than just vaccum inside ma cranium!! See the prev months too..

Loaded with the encouragement meted on my first discovery, i moved on to the previous pages..this time more dots..dot tally went this way: aug-6 sept-3 oct-2 nov-3 dec-2 till 30^th..

Amma wats the correlation..is it the days the milk didn’t come??

Allada.. Its my recipe of bringing discipline in kitchen??

Ehh??

"Da.. our shyamala was not the way she now is... (Mrs. Shyamala is ammas most trusted and beloved homemaid)..tre was a time (pre august) when she was regularly irregular @ our kitchen!! AWOL!! Tre was one month..hmmaugust or july..i dont clearly remember, she was on AWOL for a complete 12 days..another month of the pre aug era recorded AWOL of 8 days!!"

Why didn’t you change her then??

"da, she is highly capable and is real good. She had been of gr8 help when ammomma was ailing..so may seem unprincipled to push her out..Maybe she too knew tat and was taking full advantage of my softer side..i had communicated ma displeasure many a times..but she gives me the broadest of smile and gives her own set of perfect heart wrenching excuses.."

Salary cuts??

"Da another impossibility!! she earns so little that it would be the greatest crime to extract from her minimums.."

Then??

"One day, after deep thoughts, i decided to wrest control of this deepening crisis...i plainly said shyamala that her attendance is a big concern and i would start monitoring it  for a period of 3 months...If you return red (a count of ≥12 AWOLs a quarter) after the period, the fourth month u are free to find ur alternatives..
And without much halla bol introduced the calendar system...the calendar was hung just at her entry point...@ the kitchen work area...Whenever she doesn’t turn up, I mark a red circle for the day and refrains saying a word about it..After finding two red dots on two of her AWOLs she realised whats the funda of a nue calendar @ the kitchen..."

and then??

Thereafter shyamala was on a complete makeover...the dots started slowly drying up...

3 months on, the once maddeningly red shyamala turned sublimely green!!"

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Amma was euphoric!! she never xpected such an extraordinary upshot.. The idea worked!!...

The success made amma think hard against killing the scheme...and she thot why not persist 4 another 3 months.. So the system still runs with results much on expected lines!!

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“Ammo grt... quintessential gandhigiri! But Ammo, tell me, wat wud have happened if she was in red @ the end of the quarter??...”

“Don’t know abt that...but I was confident that calendar scheme can change things up...”

How??

“Cos, scare crows’ works most often!!”

All i could muster to say was...ammae saranam!!